Friday, December 27, 2013



It's the week before school starts. That's when I have my annual dream nightmare. You can probably guess where I'm going here.  In my dream, it's the first day of school. Naturally, I'm late and panicked, I'm disorganized and I haven't prepared a thing.  I speed down the freeway trying to make up precious time, but to no avail.  Amping up my anxiety, I arrive late to school (a great first impression on the first day), and, with students waiting for me of course, I rush into my classroom, students following suit,  and now, sitting at my desk, an article of clothing, my pants, has disappeared.  I'm in my boxers sitting behind my desk, bewildered and trying to maintain my composure.   I've concluded, of course, that, in my haste, I forgot my pants at home! I can't believe it and I'm just trying to not be noticed and pretend everything is ok.  Because this is NOT OK!!  My heartbeat is off the charts.. And I keep telling myself in my dream that "This better be a #!?!#*! dream!!" only because somewhere in the deep recesses of my anxiety lies a feeling of deja vu, that I've had this dream before. I'm begging my subconscious to please please please make this a dream and wake me up because my dream is just so awful. And it is so vivid at the time, full color, long sequences, and the anxiety I feel is very present. And that's because, for me, it obviously is!

I would always wake up at the peak of that anxiety and breathe several grateful sighs of relief. And then I would yell at myself for having that awful dream again.

Am I alone on this?  Please tell me I'm not alone.

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